My stomach is queasy… it feels like little fish are
darting around searching for a green exit sign but finding none. I’m leaving
tomorrow for Portland, and then on Sunday at 5:55 a.m. I’ll be on a flight to
Honolulu where I’ll dip a toe into a world of teaching, and then I’ll be on my
way to Kosrae, Micronesia to dive headfirst into that same world.
I’m not nervous about leaving home, traveling
across the ocean to live on a remote island for 10 months, or having to learn
to live without the American comforts that I’ve grown so used to. I long for
the adventure that awaits me, and I’m so excited to get to know the people of
Kosrae and to call them my friends. I can’t wait to feel the ocean breeze
cooling my humidity-drenched clothes, drink from a coconut, capture the
glorious sights with my camera, and hug my first and second graders.
But, it’s the whole teaching idea that has my
stomach in a frenzy.
I’ve never been confident in my abilities to teach
others – my mind clams up and my words rush out in jumbled-up mess –and from
that I know this is going to be the most challenging job that I’ve ever been
given. However, I trust a God who’s bigger than any of my worries, and who is
just waiting to give me a helping hand and a couple extra servings of patience
and creativity. And endurance… my mom is a preschool teacher, and I know
through her how difficult it is to teach younger children who have never been
in a school-setting before and are just learning how to sit quietly, raise
their hand, and to grasp the concept of how to read.
Deuteronomy 32:2 says: “Let my teaching fall like
rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant
rain on tender plants.” I really feel Moses here, because that’s going to be my
constant prayer. A prayer that somehow God will take me, nervous and
unqualified, and use me to teach these kids what they need to know about the
world and the One who made it. (“You’ve got this, Carissa. Don’t freak out.”)
We’ll put that all aside until I’ve been teaching
for a week or more.
I’m really excited for this, and I can’t wait to keep
you all informed about what life is like in Kosrae and to share little
snapshots with you through stories and photographs. A big thank-you to my
family and friends for your support and prayers, and I’ll really appreciate any
letters and packages that you can send my way! I’m going to miss the Tri-cities
gang and my Walla Walla family, and I can’t wait to see you all again to play
volleyball, climb a mountain, get together to watch movies and eat food late
into the evening, and swap stories from our adventures.
Until Kosrae!
