My stomach is queasy… it feels like little fish are
darting around searching for a green exit sign but finding none. I’m leaving
tomorrow for Portland, and then on Sunday at 5:55 a.m. I’ll be on a flight to
Honolulu where I’ll dip a toe into a world of teaching, and then I’ll be on my
way to Kosrae, Micronesia to dive headfirst into that same world.
I’m not nervous about leaving home, traveling
across the ocean to live on a remote island for 10 months, or having to learn
to live without the American comforts that I’ve grown so used to. I long for
the adventure that awaits me, and I’m so excited to get to know the people of
Kosrae and to call them my friends. I can’t wait to feel the ocean breeze
cooling my humidity-drenched clothes, drink from a coconut, capture the
glorious sights with my camera, and hug my first and second graders.
But, it’s the whole teaching idea that has my
stomach in a frenzy.
I’ve never been confident in my abilities to teach
others – my mind clams up and my words rush out in jumbled-up mess –and from
that I know this is going to be the most challenging job that I’ve ever been
given. However, I trust a God who’s bigger than any of my worries, and who is
just waiting to give me a helping hand and a couple extra servings of patience
and creativity. And endurance… my mom is a preschool teacher, and I know
through her how difficult it is to teach younger children who have never been
in a school-setting before and are just learning how to sit quietly, raise
their hand, and to grasp the concept of how to read.
Deuteronomy 32:2 says: “Let my teaching fall like
rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant
rain on tender plants.” I really feel Moses here, because that’s going to be my
constant prayer. A prayer that somehow God will take me, nervous and
unqualified, and use me to teach these kids what they need to know about the
world and the One who made it. (“You’ve got this, Carissa. Don’t freak out.”)
We’ll put that all aside until I’ve been teaching
for a week or more.
I’m really excited for this, and I can’t wait to keep
you all informed about what life is like in Kosrae and to share little
snapshots with you through stories and photographs. A big thank-you to my
family and friends for your support and prayers, and I’ll really appreciate any
letters and packages that you can send my way! I’m going to miss the Tri-cities
gang and my Walla Walla family, and I can’t wait to see you all again to play
volleyball, climb a mountain, get together to watch movies and eat food late
into the evening, and swap stories from our adventures.
Until Kosrae!
Testing, testing ... OK, trying to figure out this profile thing ... anyway, my dear Daughter, God will indeed strengthen you for the task at hand, as He did for me 32 years ago on another island ... you will be in my prayers. Dad
ReplyDeleteCarissa, God has called and you have answered and for that, He will be sure to bless your time of service. Give it all to Him and he will provide you with the necessary skill sets for unending success! Keep up the journaling, you're a great writer. You will be in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteUncle Gary here. How do I subscribe to this blog?
ReplyDeleteI love your first post. It is well-written and honest. And, I too, like your Dad remember similar experiences in my 1st Teaching Adventure. If you don't mind, I will share some of what I learned.
1. Your Teaching Ministry is a gift to these students. Although you will be teaching them important stuff, never lose sight of the fact that Relationships are more important than Rules or getting things Right, the Family environment that you create in your classroom is more important than whatever Facts you are trying to teach your students, Disciple-ing is way more important than Discipline-ing, and what lasts will be what your students remember about you and HOW you Treated them, way more than WHAT you Taught them.
2. As I reminisce about my Teaching Experience, I realize that what most hampered my experience was something inside of me--my tendency to be a Perfectionist and a belief that I had to get everything right! The more you let go of those tendencies, the happier your experience will end up being! Yes, "Let them go, let them go. . . ." (sing one and all!) You don't have to know it all or get it all "right" to be a good Teacher. You only need to know a little more than your students and/or be willing to explore together what is un-known. It really is that simple!
3. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." This is not just a command, it is also a promise. If we love ourselves poorly, we will love our neighbors poorly! We can't share what we don't have. Love yourself well. Take care of yourself well. Make sure you get and take "Me time", whatever that looks like for you, to renew yourself. Fill your heart and mind with GOD's love for you and you will be able to share what you know and feel.
I affirm that as you said, "You've got this, Carissa." We, your family and friends, believe in you and believe that you have what it takes to shine--all through this awesome experience.
Oh, I forgot #4. LOL. Be true to yourself (don't try to be someone you aren't), do your best, and--this is the key--let GOD take care of the rest. Remember: You aren't flying solo here! As you said earlier, "You've got this" and that's true, but it's most true because "GOD's got this". Every day you will learn to rely on GOD's Spirit working in and through you, and you will see and feel the Might Power of Awesome GOD! I look forward with excitement to hearing your stories of how GOD worked through you to touch the hearts of your students and others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your advice, Gary! This is definitely going to be a learning and growing experience for me, and I will keep you all informed about teaching.
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