Richly blessed

Deep and Wide!!

A few weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon I lay on my bed, not wanting to move. The pictures that my parents had sent were hanging from pins on a rope around my bed like shirts on a clothesline, my friends' faces smiling at me. Rain had just started to fall outside and only a little bit of light filtered its way through our filthy window onto the book that I was reading.

I didn't feel like doing anything, or going anywhere. It had been a long week, and I felt sick and gross. I’d just been hit with a bout of ‘you are getting absolutely nowhere with these kids’ and felt like the world was just draining me of my energy.

Jobeth knocked on the door, “Are you coming?”

No.

We do this program every Saturday afternoon – Branch Sabbath School – where we go in groups to a local’s house and put on a program for a bunch of kids. We sing, tell a story, do an activity, and then try to get the kids in a straight line so we can give them a snack – which is the best part. I had only gone a couple times before, but that day I just wasn't feeling it.

On Saturdays we go hard all day. There’s Sabbath School and church in the morning, then the branch program, then we have staff sundown meditation, and by that time the sun is setting and we can’t do anything outside. So at the end of the day I've done just a lot of sitting. And you know how sometimes when you've been sitting all day long and you know you should get up and do something beneficial for your health? Yeah, on that day that feeling just passed me by.

But anyways, that day I just felt like yuck and wanted to just read and then scroll through the statuses and pictures of Walla Walla University students being stoked to be back at college. But apparently I was the song leader this week so I dragged myself out of my self-pitying position, put my slippers on, and headed out to where my group was waiting in the rain.

We walked to our spot, a house that sits right by the ocean. Inside, it’s a big open space with windows covered with tattered and messily-patched netting, a wooden chest, a broken mirror, some metal sheets, and a kitchen corner that is composed of a rice cooker and a skillet for cooking up chicken.

The instant we got there the room started filling with children, and my attitude quick changed. These kids have rotting teeth, uncombed hair, dirty faces, and some of the neediest hearts. It was easy for me to get into the action of our program, sing the songs, and try to make these kids smile. It was like God flipped a switch in my heart and reminded me why I am on the other side of the world – which is to be his hands, feet, and mouth and show his love by just being my imperfect self.

So as I walked around the room holding a little boy wearing nothing but a dirty t-shirt and watched the kids and adults coloring pictures with looks of happiness in their eyes, I realized that at that moment there was nowhere else I’d rather be.

This trip has been hard. I asked God before coming to Micronesia to show me where I was going wrong in my life and to shape me into the woman He wants me to be – and He is painfully doing just that. There’s a lot going on in my mind right now, and I feel like He’s in the process of ripping every part of me out and putting me back together how he wants me to be. It reminds me of a part of the book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader when Aslan uses his claws to rip the scales off of dragon-Eustace to unveil the tender but trusting human under the dragon scales – the better-Eustace.

This island is teaching me so much about life and living. 

This is an accurate example
of what many of the houses
look like around Chuuk

One beautiful thing about these people is how they are alright with having less.

If you’re reading this, you are probably decently rich. You have a laptop or computer access. You may be at a university, taking a break from the studying for costly classes that will help you reach the goals that you have set for yourself – goals that you know are obtainable. You may be sitting on a couch, a cup of coffee or tea in hand, surrounded by comfort, appliances, and luxury. Or you may be on a sidewalk, scrolling through this post while hurrying to get to your job or to some consumerist trap.

We are all so rich and grossly blessed.

Sitting on a bunk in an air-conditioned room, I am starting to be disgusted by how many things in my American life I have become accustomed to and that I have come to take for granted. A great family, friends, a good education, air conditioning, and store nearby filled with vegetables and fruit that I can afford. I have been so blessed by the life that God put me in and I’m grossed out by how blind I've been to it. And it is gross that I know that it is going to be difficult for me to change my mindset.

View from afar

There are a few local boys that if I couldn't already recognize them by their faces, I could recognize them by their clothing because they are always wearing the same thing. The boys who walk along the street who wave shyly or will do spontaneous handstands are clothed with rags. They have tattered shorts and shirts that are three shades darker from dirt and grime and have more holes than your average Swiss cheese slice. Their favorite toy is an empty rice bag that they fold and then pull it through the air with a giant pop! These bags will entertain kids here for hours. Literally. I sit in my room and hear the little pops from these rice bags for hours after school each day. It’s only fun if you are the one making the noise…

Get a little closer, and
this is the beach

But they are alright with what they have; and there’s a lot that can be learned from that.

It’s so easy for me to be selfish; to think that I deserve all the blessings that God has given me. But really, who am I to deserve anything? It’s by God’s grace that I’m even alive. And it’s by God’s grace that He gave us sinful and lost creatures a second chance at life. And it is gross that still sometimes I have the audacity to get angry at God and question His methods – when he doesn't give me something I want because He has something better in mind, or when He takes something out of my life that would only harm or hurt me in the long run. I’m unbelievable lucky to be here, even when it is hard.

So, peace and love from Chuuk.